Tried and Failed

Tonight is the last for the camper to be up. We'll put it down tomorrow because it's supposed to rain Friday. Alex knew about the camper being up, he knew tonight was the last night, he was invited to camp out sometime this week, but he never followed through.

Of course, I was a bit upset when he never contacted me about camping out. It shouldn't have been a surprise though. I was sitting outside kinda waiting for him to show up ready to camp out, but he never came.

This is going to sound stupid to most of you probably....

I was upset, and I just closed my eyes and started talking to God. I said I knew that I am in a toxic "relationship" with Alex and that I need out. I asked Him to help me get out of it, and I also asked to help Mom with the house hunting. I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here.

After talking to God, I felt (and still feel) better. The camping thing this week was my only attempt this summer to try and be friends with Alex again, and it didn't work. So that's it, I'm done. I take comfort knowing I at least have tried (over and over again) to be friends with him.

The sad thing is, I don't think he really realizes how much he's hurt me over the last couple years.



Please don't leave any comments saying that you're sorry or anything like that. I don't need to hear that. I feel even better after writing this.

:)