VBS / Wisdom Teeth

This week was Vacation Bible School at the church. As usual, I went and helped out where I was needed. Most of the time Alex and I just hung out alone together in the back of the sanctuary. On Wednesday I had to go get a hair cut. Since I had to get my wisdom teeth out Friday, I was just going to stay at Mom's and skip going to Bible School on Thursday. Alex said I should come back to Dad's and go to VBS on Thursday so he wouldn't be bored. I obliged. He was able to put my mind to ease a bit about getting my wisdom teeth out since he had had it done several months ago.

My appointment was at 9 Friday morning so I stayed at Mom's Thursday night. I couldn't eat 6 hours before the surgery and I knew I wouldn't be able to eat much the next couple of days so I feasted Thursday night. Mom took me to a hot dog shoppe near here where I got a hot dog topped with chili and "loaded fries" as well as a root beer float.

When it came time for my appointment, they took me back into the room and hooked me up to a heart monitor. Then the doctor came in and started me on the IV sedation. Next thing I knew I was awake and Mom was in the room listening to the nurse give her instructions on what we should be doing the next few days and what to expect. So people come out of sedation and are a bit loopy (my brothers and Alex were both like this) but I came out really well and could walk fine on my own.

When we got back home, I changed the gauze in my mouth. Apart from in the car, I hadn't yet sat down because I was feeling alright. I walked into the kitchen where Mom was and pretty soon I started to feel really light headed and dizzy. Spots were appearing in front of my eyes and from past experiences I knew I was going to pass out. I told mom to get over to where I was and grabbed onto the counter. She barely got to me before I collapsed. Luckily she caught me and laid me down on the kitchen floor. She said my eyes were rolled back into my head so she closed them. Just a few seconds later I came to and asked what happened. She told me I passed out and that I should just stay down there for a little bit. I stayed on the floor about five minutes before I was ready to move into my comfy chair in the living room.

I stayed in that chair most of the day watching movies with mom. I changed the gauze every hour and took two rounds of four Advil tablets. The doctor also prescribed an antibiotic that I took twice. The pill got stuck in my throat the first time I tried to take it and I almost choked on it. Additionally the doctor prescribed Oxycodone for severe pain but I haven't had any yet. I also kept an ice pack on each side of my face periodically for 20 minutes to help reduce and swelling.

Alex texted me and asked how I was feeling and Dad checked in on me throughout the day.

Today I haven't had any major problems. No pain at all and little swelling. I'm still using ice packs and also warm salt water every hour. Compared to my brothers, I have done well with it all (except they never passed out). I'm getting quite bored at Mom's so I may go back to Dad's earlier than planned. I was fully expecting to be in bed most of the weekend. I'm still eating mostly jello, pudding, and I had some soup yesterday. I tried eating ravioli today but it was hard to eat without chewing in the back of my mouth even after cutting it up. So I think I'll stick to softer foods the rest of the weekend.

Hopefully things will continue to be better than expected.

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"Sky Battle"

Alexandre Desplat

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

Update On Alex

Hey!

It was really nice over the weekend! Spring time temperatures and sunshine :) On Friday, Dad asked me to wash the cars since they were covered the usual layer of winter yuckiness. Actually, we went down to the town car wash first. It has two stalls and one was occupied already. As we were going down the alley towards the car wash, some lady pulled into the unoccupied stall lol. So we decided that we'd wash them at home rather than wait around.

Anyway, it was about 3:15 when I started washing my car. At 3:30 the school bus dropped Alex off. About five minutes later he came out and played hockey in his driveway. Soon after, he shot the hockey ball into the neighbors (his neighbors, across the street from me) yard. As he passed me to get it, we made eye contact. He said sarcastically,

"Don't give me that look!"

"What look?"

"That look of disappointment"

I was a little confused by that so I faked a laugh and went back to washing the car :P

I didn't know whether I should have or not, but when I was done washing the cars I was going to go over to hang out with him. But before I got done washing Dad's car his parents came home from work and they all left shortly thereafter.

I wonder if he wouldn't have been out to play hockey if I wasn't out washing the car? He doesn't sit with me in church anymore because my brother, his wife and daughter have been coming lately and there isn't room for all of us in the pew. Consequently, we don't really get to even say hi to each other anymore which is why I might have gone over while he was playing hockey.


So anyway, just a little update on recent Alex related happenings.

Facebook Fight

Alex got into a fight on Facebook the other day. I took screenshots. You'll probably have to click to read them.

NOTE: Alex's nicknames used here are Al, Chip(py), and Connor. The Alex with bad grammar and the red 2 beside his name is Alex's friend also named Alex. I've called him Alex2 on here before.



I thought it was entertaining at first. Then the Jessica girl posted this on his wall. I started to feel bad for him. Btw, Jessica is the girl he used to text a lot a couple years ago. I mentioned her on my old blog. Soon after he started texting her a lot, we stopped doing the sexual stuff.


The "you've changed" thing hit me kinda hard. He has changed. He's become cold, assholeish. I experienced that for years but now he's like that on Facebook too. I turned the same way in high school before I moved back with Dad. People said I changed too. I was an asshole to people also (still am sometimes).


I put this as my status last night and he responded today:


I feel really bad for him. I wanted to write *hugs* but didn't want to cross the line. I actually did want to give him a hug though :\

Tried and Failed

Tonight is the last for the camper to be up. We'll put it down tomorrow because it's supposed to rain Friday. Alex knew about the camper being up, he knew tonight was the last night, he was invited to camp out sometime this week, but he never followed through.

Of course, I was a bit upset when he never contacted me about camping out. It shouldn't have been a surprise though. I was sitting outside kinda waiting for him to show up ready to camp out, but he never came.

This is going to sound stupid to most of you probably....

I was upset, and I just closed my eyes and started talking to God. I said I knew that I am in a toxic "relationship" with Alex and that I need out. I asked Him to help me get out of it, and I also asked to help Mom with the house hunting. I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here.

After talking to God, I felt (and still feel) better. The camping thing this week was my only attempt this summer to try and be friends with Alex again, and it didn't work. So that's it, I'm done. I take comfort knowing I at least have tried (over and over again) to be friends with him.

The sad thing is, I don't think he really realizes how much he's hurt me over the last couple years.



Please don't leave any comments saying that you're sorry or anything like that. I don't need to hear that. I feel even better after writing this.

:)

Almost Ready!

Got the camper moved and opened up today! I won't bore you with the details like yesterday; instead I'll skip to the Alex part :P

After we got the camper opened up and got the inside situated, I texted Alex to tell him he could come over and check out the camper if he wanted. He texted right back saying, "ok I will... I'm so bored lol." He came right over :P

We just kinda sat around in there for awhile. He played with my iPod most of the time, and we talked. I told him my plan for tomorrow: sweep it out and get rid of the cobwebs and stuff. I also told him that hopefully it'll be ready to sleep in by tomorrow night. He didn't say one way or the other if he wanted to camp out at all or not. I didn't ask either.

It was really hot so he said he was going to go back to his house. He asked if I wanted to come over, but I couldn't because I had to go up to Mom's for dinner.

Here's some pics I took today:

The Camper, and Alex

NOTE:

If you don't want to read all about my day with the camper, just read the first paragraph, then skip down to the second section.


Section 1: Camper

Whoa what a busy day!

I woke up this morning at 7 a.m. I wasn't supposed to be awake then, I just randomly woke up. So I laid in bed thinking. I started thinking about camping and all that. I got the idea, like last year, of using the camper. Last year I got discouraged when I saw how bad the canvas is. But that is only in one corner. I decided I want to try again. So this morning I got the game plan together:

Phase I - Take the tarp off and clean it.
Phase II - Patch the area where siding is coming off (in that one corner) then wash the outside.
Phase III - Move the camper to a level area.
Phase IV - Open the camper (it's the pop-up type) and inspect the canvas.
Phase V - Clean the inside.

I figured it would take today and tomorrow, but I didn't fully realize how much work was going to be involved O_O


Phase I:

Taking the tarp off and cleaning it was probably the easiest thing I did today lol. It's pretty self-explanatory so I won't bother going into detail here :P

Phase II:

My idea for patching the area where the siding is coming off was to staple it back on with a staple gun, then put duct tape over it. Well, the wood behind the siding is in bad shape, so it wasn't even catching the staples. I couldn't wash the top since the bad corner is on the low side of the camper and all the water would have run right into that hole. The sides of the camper really weren't too bad. All I had to do was go around it with a broom and knock all the spiders off lol.


Phase III:

I knew this one would be the most challenging. Obviously we need a vehicle with a hitch to move the camper. The only two people who we could have used were my brother and my mom. My brother is on vacation, and Mom was out today. I had already pretty much planned on doing Phase III tomorrow anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. However, we were still going to take the camper off the blocks it sits on (it doesn't sit on the trailer's tires) so it would be ready to go tomorrow.

Well....

When we took it off the blocks we discovered both tires were flat. We have a small air pump that we use to inflate the mower's tires with, so we got that and inflated one tire. The second one though didn't inflate. Dad said the tire was off the seal or something like that. We even took it to the gas station to use the air compressor, but it didn't work.

We have another trailer that we used to haul our tractor and push mower around in when we used to mow several yards in the area. The tires are a bit smaller than the ones on the camper trailer, but they would work. The tires looked good, so we decided to try it. Dad tried to get one of the tires off, but it was rusted so badly it would hardly turn even. Discouraged, Dad just said the other tire would be the same.

Well we couldn't move the camper, then the whole day would have been a complete waste. It was already after 6 by this point. Dad was ready to quit, and I was pretty pissed off. I told Dad to try to get the other tire off.

Guess what?

It came right off!!!!

So we put it on the camper and put some air in it. By this time it's after 7. There wasn't anything else we could do today, so we put the tarp back on top of it. Tomorrow I'll bring Mom's 4Runner down and we'll move it if all goes according to plan.


Section 2: Alex


After we got all the tools and things put away, I went to sit out on our stoop. Alex was playing hockey at his house earlier and still had the net but he wasn't out when I went and sat on the stoop. After awhile, he rode past on his bike. Then a bit later he skated up to our driveway and asked me why a State Police car went down the road. Obviously I wouldn't have any idea. Then he skated down the sidewalk and talked for a little bit.

Then we saw two people walking up the road. He said he thought it was some girl and his "ex-girlfriend." (this would have been the girl I've mentioned on my old blog. They never went on any dates or saw each other outside of school so I don't call that a girlfriend, but that's what he said). As they got closer he could tell that that was definitely who that was. So we went back over to his house to "hide" lol. As he was leaving he said he'd be back in a few minutes.

After they passed our houses, he came back over and asked if I wanted to come over. Of course I did! I stood around while he was skating around his driveway and we talked some more. Then it was getting darkish so he was going to stop skating. He asked if I wanted to go sit out on the porch. If you'll remember from two years ago, his porch is where a lot of the "action" took place nearly every night :P.

So we sat out there for awhile. We just talked. He said if I needed help with the camper tomorrow to let him know because he doesn't "have anything better to do." So during church I may ask him if he wants to come over (my mom will be in church tomorrow; sitting with us). Anyway, we just sat out there talking for awhile. It was about a 11:15 by the time I left.


So today has been a great day on two fronts! I can't wait until tomorrow :D





(this post is too long. I'm not even wasting time proofreading it :P)

Shameless Self-Promotion

Yeah, I'm just making this post so you can see my new layout :)

Oh, actually I do have one quick update: Alex finally got a facebook page and he added me as a friend :O So far his only status update is, "I ♥ my cousin Tom (last name)." That's a bit gay :p


While you are here you might as well check out my 3D Titanic model. Of course I don't have much time to work on it since school is my number 1 priority right now. LAST WEEK!!!! WOOT!



Port and starboard forward lifeboats added. I downloaded them from Google's 3D Warehouse where you can find almost anything made into a 3D model. I probably won't keep them because they aren't very good, IMO.


Have a listen to another of John Williams' epic pieces:

"Battle of the Heros" Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Big Improvement

Saturday, I was sitting outside like usual and Alex and his friends (Alex2 and Joe) were sitting on his porch (couldn't see them but could hear them). Alex had been playing hockey earlier in the day so the net was still over there. It was about a quarter to 9 when Alex brought it back. I was wearing my headphones so I wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't hit the garage with the net while setting it down. I looked over and he looked at me and gave a little wave and said, "I'd come over to chat but my sister just decided to tell me about all the chores I have to do tonight."

The day before, he had been coughing a lot. Sunday, it was even worse. He had to get up and get a drink twice during church. The second time he just stayed in the kitchen so he wouldn't disrupt church. Just as a side note, he still sits with me during church, and yesterday we were kinda close despite the coughing :p I told him he should go see a doctor. He said a teacher at school said he could have pneumonia and Dad said he wouldn't be surprised if he did.

When I'm near someone who is coughing or sneezing, I'll usually lean away and kinda cover my mouth/nose when they do it because I don't want to get sick. (this is important in a minute)

I spent the evening at Mom's with her and her boyfriend so I got home too late to sit outside. Dinner with Mom and her BF is kinda becoming a Sunday tradition. Anyway, so I didn't see Alex outside of church Sunday.

Today, I went outside at the usual time (around 8p). Alex's sister came over and gave me something to give to Dad, but there was no sign of Alex. A little while after that I could hear him coughing. I knew he must have been sitting on his front porch (which is on the opposite side of his house than the one that faces my house). If I could hear him coughing at that distance, then that's a pretty bad cough :S

So I sent him a text message saying, "Wow... I can hear you coughing all the way over here right now. I hope you go see a doctor soon..." I think I mentioned in one of my recent posts that Alex hasn't been in the habit of replying to my texts no matter what I would say so I'm used to not getting responses. However, to my surprise he actually sent one back! Here's what followed:

Alex: I went today

Me: Good!

Then I got worrying about me getting sick since we were sitting close to each other for about an hour in church. So I sent another message:

"Wait... whatever you have isn't contagious, right?"

Alex: Idk y?
(I don't know why?)

Me: Just checking to see if I'm going to get sick. I'm paranoid you know :p
(I have no idea if he knows what :p means lol)

Alex: Well with the way you act when I cough you shouldn't lol

I couldn't think of anything else so I just said back, "Lol that's true." I knew he wouldn't reply back to that; I mean what are you supposed to say to that? lol


So now that you're all caught on the happenings with Alex, let me say that all that's happened in the last week is a MAJOR improvement compared to last year! Actually, it's quite the opposite of what's been happening. And except for me starting the texting conversation tonight, the rest has all been him: he came over Wednesday, Friday night, and said he would have Saturday night but he had chores do to. He also replied to a text message that I'm pretty sure he never would have relied to last year.


It may still be too early to tell, but it looks like things are slowly making a 180 degree turn.

Am I setting myself up to get hurt again? Maybe, but I think I've learned not to be clingy or anything that led to our "split" before, so maybe not also.

We shall see...


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John Williams is amazing

Posted Too Soon!

Ok so normally I don't make two posts in one day; let alone only a few hours apart. But this is kind of a continuation of the last post.

So anyway, after I *finally* got home from the school today I wanted to sit outside for awhile. I sat out for a couple hours. While sitting outside, I saw Alex2 (Alex's friend also named Alex) go over to Alex's house. After a bit they left and walked up the street (presumably to their friends house). Pretty soon they (just the 2 Alexs) came . Alex2 came over to get the hockey net so they could play hockey.

Now, for those not familiar, Alex2 and the other friend, Joe, are walking gay joke machines among other things. I really can't stand being around them which is why I don't go over when they're there. I don't like the sound of hockey sticks smacking against the pavement and all that so I went inside. It was almost dinner time anyway.

I went back outside around 7. Around 8:30 Alex and Alex2 came down from the ball field (Alex had practice and someone else was having a game). Alex2 came and got the net again. Now, the net has gotten pretty beat up since they started using it. My brother wasn't very happy about it (it's his net). Alex2 wasn't carrying it the right way; in fact he wasn't carrying it at all! He was actually dragging it and about to go across the driveway and onto the road so I yelled at him saying, "try carrying the net the right way!" which he did :p

So anyway, I stayed out while they played (for those who ask, I cannot see them playing from where I sit outside). They played until about 9. Alex brought back the net this time, then skated up the road and stopped across from me. He walked down across the driveway (gravel) and skated down the sidewalk. I can't remember what he said, but it was something about sitting outside. He told me that they are going to get their porch furniture out this weekend maybe. I should have said something about us sitting outside again but I didn't even think about it until now :\

For those that don't know, two summers ago Alex and I used to sit out on his porch nearly every night. Most of the time my hand would be down his pants :p (not kidding).

Then we got talking about his hockey equipment. He told me he ordered some hockey pants, and a girdle. He even had me look them up online so he could show me what they looked like lol.

I asked him what sporting goods stores he shops at because I got a giftcard for one store for Christmas worth $25. He said he shopped at that store, so I gave him the giftcard as a birthday present :p

I sooooo wanted to mention camping and ask him if he wanted to, but I'm going to try and hold it to see if he'll ask first.

I also asked him if he was the one who said my name at the school earlier today. He said he didn't think it was... I wonder who said it then :S

He left around 9:30 so he was over for about 20-30 minutes which is the longest we've been together outside of church since January!

I'd say things are getting off to a good start this summer :)

Guess who came to see me today!

Ok so like I said in my last post, I sent Alex a text message saying, "Happy birthday Alex :)" at midnight. Of course I didn't expect a reply because if you've been reading for awhile you know Alex doesn't reply to my messages too often :p).

Later on today I was sitting outside while Dad did some yard work. I saw Alex ride off on his bike out towards his friend's house or his grandmother's house (they both live on the same street). A few minutes later he came back. I watched him ride down his sidewalk. I saw him look at me as I looked at him; usually I'd break eye contact right away but I kept it this time :p

To my surprise he came right over. I was on the stoop and Dad was beside the stoop pulling weeds out of the flowerbed. Alex stopped on his bike about halfway down the sidewalk about 10 feet away.

He said, "Really? You had to send that text at midnight?" lol. I told him that I stayed up just for that :p but Dad told him that I stayed up to watch the primary election results.... Thanks Dad...

Alex told me that he passed his driver's permit test so now he can drive with an adult, and after Dad mentioned the primary he said how bad the political ads on TV got the last few days. Then there was an awkward pause for a few seconds and he said "See ya" and left.

I was very happy that he came over even if it was for 5 minutes :)

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Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Leave - James Horner - Titanic

Alex's Birthday

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is Alex's birthday. He'll be turning 16.

Sunday, he had a birthday party of sorts. People on Twitter asked me why I wasn't there and why I wasn't invited. Well, it's more of a family gathering than it is a fully party. His friends from the neighborhood don't show up (though they were there later to play hockey), and I haven't been at one since we were young (a long time ago!). In church he said he'd bring pieces of cake over for Dad and I which he normally does.

I went to Mom's house for dinner. Her house is in town; being only 5 minutes drive away. Alex texted me around 8 p.m. asking if I was home. I told him I wasn't but I would be soon. He told me to tell him when I was.

(By the way, Alex used to text like this: "R u home?" "K... tell me when u r." Sunday he was writing normally: "Are you home? "Ok... tell me when you are." Maturity!)

A half hour later I was ready to leave so I texted him and said I'd be there in 5 minutes. He brought the two piece of cake over after I pulled in the driveway. He told me the cake had a picture of Sidney Crosby on it. The pieces I got have his feet on one and his leg on the other. Dad ate the leg piece lol. Anyway, after he gave me the cake and told me about it, he said "see ya" went home.

If you remember, I gave him my brother's old skates and a card last year (of which he still has yet to thank me for even though he uses the skates almost everyday...). I didn't get him anything this year, but I will send a "happy birthday" text message at midnight (20 minutes from the writing of this).


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A Building Panic - James Horner - Titanic
(My favorite part is 4:00 - 5:30)

Answering Some Questions

So Wayne has taken it upon himself to personally help me "spice up" my blog. Well, I don't know how much spicing will be done, but his questions give me something to blog about in this lull in things to blog about.

Any prospects for your love life?

You mean is there anyone I'm interested in? No, there is no one I go to school with, no one who goes to my church (Alex and I are the only teen guys there), or anyone who lives near me who I am even remotely interested in.

Except Alex, of course.


Is the prom thing over yet?

Prom isn't until May 1st (which I think I mentioned 2 posts ago). I don't have a tux yet, but I'm gonna ask Mom if we can go this weekend.


Did you ever talk to Eric?

Only online. We've kinda stopped talking except for the occasional tweets back and forth.


Will that c**k-teaser Alex ever move away and end your suffering?

Actually, since Alex is only 15, I'll probably be the one to move away first lol.


What is the master plan for coming out some day?

There isn't one yet. I'm perfectly comfortable in the closet. Living in a small town with a minister isn't exactly the time or place you'd want to come out.


How about a pic of you in jeans and a hoodie?

How about a pic of me in my pajamas and a hoodie instead?


I'll be glad to play a little Q&A with my readers since I really have nothing to blog about right now. Just leave me questions in your comments.

Until next time...

Just an update

So... Nothing really special to blog about so I'll just write about some small things:

I've been getting into politics a lot recently. This week I've watched C-SPAN and C-SPAN2 more than I ever have in my entire life. Of course, I was following the Healthcare Bills as they went through the House of Representatives and the Senate up until now. I had to explain to Dad and some bloggers how the bills went through the House and Senate. Dad said I should get a law degree and become a politician.

I don't think so...

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In prom news, Amanda got her dress. It's basically black and white. So I guess I have to go get a tuxedo now. Amanda said her friends who are part of the prom committee said the school may cancel the dinner so they can save money. I hope they don't. The dinner part will be the most enjoyable part of the whole evening.

I don't dance; especially fast dancing. I will slow dance, but I'm not good at it. I hope Amanda doesn't expect me to dance very much lol. I'll probably just sit on my ass most of the night.

Amanda asked if we're going to any after-parties. I guess it depends on how late Dad will let me stay out since I'll have his car. The only thing I know about after-parties is there is usually drinking. I don't drink and Amanda says she doesn't either, so I'm not really sure what the point is. She said she doesn't want to go home right after the dance though.

By the way, prom isn't until May 1st.

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Tomorrow I have to go to the community college to take a placement test. It starts at 10:30 and they say it usually takes people an hour and a half to two hours to complete it, so hopefully I'll be back before 2 p.m.

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Last Sunday Alex and I were supposed to hide Easter eggs at the church for the kids to hunt later that evening. I sent Alex a text message the day before to remind him that we were supposed to do it right after church.

Before church started we were talking about it and counting how many eggs we had. After church I went to get the eggs out. By the time I got them out and into the sanctuary, Alex had left. I had to hide 69 eggs by myself. Later he said he thought we were going to do it before the dinner.

Ugh... You can't really count on him...

Last Wednesday, I got to drive Alex and his sister to school. They were waiting at the bus stop when I left, so I just asked them if they wanted to ride. Amanda never asked if I was going to pick her up. She didn't show up for school, so I sent her a message and she blamed me lol.

Oh well :)


Hmm... Not sure what to talk about now...

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My favorite part is 1:37 - 2:19 :D

I don't know... :\

Soooo....

I was talking to a fellow blogger and he said that it's not really necessary to treat Alex like I do.

(ie. not talking to him unless I have to, and even then showing little interest in what he says (which is usually nothing important anyway), kinda avoiding him, etc.)

He suggested maybe it's time to start building up a friendship with him again. Well, I dunno... I *guess* I would like that, but don't really know if it's a good idea. I feel silly for even asking >.<

Do you think it'd be worth it to try to fix it at this point? I've probably asked this before but I don't remember.

I don't know because: Our past history for one, it'd be awkward talking to him again, and he hasn't made any attempt to restart the friendship so I dunno if he would even be willing or w/e

I dunno... what do you think?

(I feel so weird for asking this for some reason :\ As I write this I'm starting to feel it's not such a good/worthwhile idea.)

Story of My Life

Since I have nothing really current to blog about except if anything exciting happens during Youth Club or something, I've been thinking about telling the story of my life... like an autobiography of things that have happened up until the present day. I did this on my old blog, and those posts are still there, but I didn't really go in depth a whole lot. So I may start that in a few days (starting of course with my rather exciting birth (tho I don't remember it :p)).


In other news, I mentioned a lady in my last post that goes to our church, Betty, who isn't doing too good right now. She's battled cancer on and off for something like the last 7 years. She went in for an operation a month or so ago (I can't remember what for exactly), but ended up having two more operations.

She's deteriorated a lot since then. Dad and I went in there (the hospital) at the beginning of last week. She was in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). The doctor had just given her something so she was kinda out of it. She could barely talk or even keep her eyes open. She was also all bloated... even her hands were...

Then Friday I think, we got a call from her friend saying that Betty was "giving up and is ready to go." She also requested that Dad go up as soon as he could. So we both went up. I stayed in the waiting room. When Dad came down he said, "Things like that are what remind me I don't need to retire." He said she had labored breathing (only averaging 5 breaths per minute), and she was out of it; he said he doubted she knew he was there. He also said that the doctors didn't expect her to last the rest of the day. So we went home and just were anticipating a phone call any minute.

I sent everyone I thought would want to know a text telling of her condition. I sent one to Alex too so he could relay it to his mother. To my *GREAT surprise* he actually sent one back :O Albeit, 4 hours later asking if there was any news.

Well, no such phone call has came yet. However, no improvement has come either...


Also, Alex is sick... again... He was sick two weeks ago too. Well, maybe if he wasn't out playing football everyday in short sleeves with the temperature at 50F/10C and cold winds...


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Finally Something to Blog About: Youth Club

So... Youth Club started last night.

If you don't remember from last year, or you weren't around, Youth Club is a thing the church does for the kids who go to the church. There's also a class for the high school kids. Youth Club is held every Monday evening.

So yesterday, I was in the sanctuary alone sitting in the back. My head had been hurting a bit since before dinner, so I was kinda resting away from the kids playing a noisy game. Alex comes in at the front of the sanctuary and says, "Do I want to know...?" I lift my head to look at him and he says, "... What you're doing back there?" I just respond, "Sitting." then put my head back down and he left.

I'm not really being friendly to him anymore, that's not to say I'm being unfriendly either, I just kinda ignore/avoid him as much as possible. He still sits with me during church, but I sit all the way at the end of the pew instead of right beside him like before. Last year in Youth Club, we sat together on one side of the sanct. while the girls sat of the other side. Yesterday, neither girl was there so I sat on their side and he sat on the other. I haven't sent him a text message in I don't know how long, same goes for him sending me one. The emotional rollercoaster with him has finally stopped :)

So... yeah... that's all folks.


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Still Waiting...

Mom called and said that my old B&M school sent the local school all the transcripts they had on me again. So now we're waiting until tomorrow morning to call the local school and ask about it all since it was too late to call them once I heard.

I hope she's up there tomorrow. School starts on Monday so tomorrow is the last day.


Alex sent me a message while I was talking to mom. He wanted to know when I was taking my recycling stuff to the thingy cos he had a bunch of stuff. So I said, "Let's go now then." So I get the car to back it up to my door, cos I had a lot of stuff I didn't really feel like carrying all the way to the car, and I notice that his garage door is closed; that usually means no one is home. So I was just about to send a message asking if he was even home when he showed up on his bike.

o.O

So once we're ready to go down to the thing, someone calls him. He looks at his phone and says, " Oh, it's Joe. I was just at his house and he was asleep on his couch." When we were at the recycling thing, Joe showed up. Once we pulled back into my driveway, with Joe following us on his bike, Alex jumped out of the car saying, "See ya later."

*sigh*

No More Camping

I'm pretty sure NG was the first one to realize that I didn't seem to have a good time during the last camping excursion. Well, yeah, he's right; I didn't really enjoy it...

So... I've decided not to do any more camping with Alex.

I guess this is a big sign of getting over him?

Yes, I'll probably miss the sexual stuff, but it's really not worth it if there is no feeling behind it. Even if it is just two friends wanking side-by-side, it's still hard if one of those friends has feelings for the other one, but the other one doesn't return those feelings.

So... yeah... No more camping.

Last Night.

As you can tell from the last post, I was stewing over the idea of whether or not to go through with camping last night. I don't know why, but after dinner I just didn't have the ambition to do it, not to mention not really being that excited about it.

But, I was talking to Courage around 7 p.m. last night and he kinda convinced me to do it. So I went up to ask Dad if he wanted to put the tent up. He was working on stuff, so I went back down to talk online some more. Just then Alex sent me a text saying, "Did you put the tent up yet?" which of course I hadn't. I sent back, "Dad and I will do it eventually... keep your pants on." As you can tell, I was still not too ambitious about it all. Alex sends back, "Oh (or maybe it was 'ok')... I'm just bored so I thought I'd come and help."

Dad said that I could go out and start putting up the tent and he'd be along shortly. So I sent Alex a message telling him that I was going to get the tent started. Not even a minute later he sent back, "I'm here." lol. He must have been floating around outside.

The tent goes up. Alex stays an hour, then goes and gets changed. Play around on my computer for awhile: Texas Hold 'em, Facebook, trying to get him to talk to Courage online (which he wouldn't lol). Then he went on Jackinworld.com to "look for something to entertain" me. His words, except the "me" is me, not him... supposedly... :p

Then, it's like 11:30, he asks me about these two sites, porntube.com and youporn.com, I guess he wanted to know if they were real sites. I didn't know, so he typed them in :O Yep, they are real; straight porn mostly I think. So then he says, "Know any better sites?" :O I don't really want to go to a gay porn site with him around. I don't know why, but it's just embarrassing :\ So I type in xtube.com, which really isn't that good of a site, but it has both straight and gay porn on it. He selected the straight part of the site. He watched a couple vids. Ick, straight porn.... gag me with a spoon. But he didn't touch himself or anything while he was watching... Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

I guess he got bored with the porn cos after two or three vids he gave the computer back to me. I didn't want to go to any of my usual sites, as I've already said. It'd be different if I knew he was gay, but I thought it might gross him out of something. So anyway, the computer got put away.

I'm under my cover and he's just laying beside me. I figured it was time to jack off, so I was trying to get a boner under the blanket. He says, "I thought you didn't like to do it under covers?" which I don't. Right then I realize that everytime we do this he always comments on how I start out trying to get a boner under the cover (I don't want to pull out my flaccid dick, just my hard one :p)... Then I decide to play with him (not "that" way :p). I still don't have a boner yet, but I make the motions, still under the cover, as if I do and I'm going at it lol. Again, he comments on me doing it under the covers, but I still act as if I'm going at it. Then I go under the cover completely; he's like, "What are you doing?"

I say, "What do you think?"

"I don't know." So now he's playing dumb. I think he's trying to get my to come out of from under the covers. Then I say, "Wow, it's really hot under here" lol. He says, "So take the cover off" if we were chatting online I'm sure he would have added a "ffs" to the end lol. I could tell he's getting really annoyed cos I'm doing it under the cover and not where he can see.... at least that's what I think.

Okay, so I think I've tortured him enough so I come out, and we jack off. Just like the last time, I had a hard time "going the all the way" (i.e. coming). I don't know what it is, but I kept going a bit soft even though I was going at it! Maybe I'm too used to porn :\ I comment on this when he asks (for the millionth time) if I'm close to coming yet. So he says, "Well, here's your video" and he rolls on his side so I can get a better view of his dick, but since there's not much light on him, it doesn't really help. Anyway, it ends up taking 45mins :O for us to finish. I guess he was waiting for me, but he ended first. That did it for me and I finished too. We cleaned up and went to sleep.


This morning, we were messing around on the computer again. Then we were just laying there, and he says, "Look what I found" and pulls out his hard dick :O Then five minutes later he says that he's gonna go home.

That's it.

Comments?

Thoughts?

Feelings?

Criticism?

etc...?

Well, Alex seemed more friendlier towards me in church this morning. As of late, it's not uncommon for either of us to really talk to each other in church. In other words, we barely say anything to each other, usually.

Today, he tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention about something, then later he tapped my knee to turn my attention to dead blades of grass that he was plucking from the bottom of his shoes o.O

Then I was drawing, as I sometimes do, on the back of the bulletin handout. Today, it was a weird bug and some UFOs lol. He looked at the strange looking bug and said, laughing, "What is wrong with you?" Then when I got up to leave at the end of church he said as I was folding up the bulletin, "You should be an artist." Not sure if he meant that seriously or not; I think he was joking.

Dad had a meeting after church with the Session, so I went home to tend to the dogs. When I walked back into the church to pick up Dad later, Alex said my name in a weird voice he occasionally does. It's like a high pitched voice... a "gay" voice if you will.

That was all that happened really.


Not much else to report today. My sister-in-law is here now with the niece. I really dislike babies so I'm sitting on the floor in the bathroom right now hiding out lol. I've been in here for a half hour now so I don't think my cover of an upset stomach is going to last much longer.


Oh, regarding the last post:

Personally, I'm torn between what I think I should do. On one hand I want to talk to him, but we all know I've wanted to do that before but always chickened out. On the other hand I want to do the sexual stuff cos, let's face it, it's fun doing it with someone else!

I will have my laptop in the tent with us, so be online tomorrow night (my time.), and I might let you say hi to him. He may "accidentally" stumble upon my blog too cos I have it favorited. Not to mention the porn :p

Okay, I guess I've got to go out and spend some time with family.... ugh...