Well I guess I posted too soon.

James just told me we won't be able to do anything Friday or Saturday.

Fuck. I know it's not his fault but I can't help but feel pissed off and angry now.

>:(

Physics Class / More Plans with James

For college I need to take one physical science elective and one social science elective. For the social science elective I chose to take American National Government and for the physical science elective I first chose to take Forensics Science which is a course for non-science majors. However, my brain got in the way and I changed the physical science elective to Physics because I never had it in high school. So then I had to take the Physics class this summer because it didn't fit into my fall schedule.

Well, we're three weeks in already and I'm considering dropping the class and going back to Forensics Science. Why allow a class I DON'T NEED to drag down my overall GPA (grade point average)? I've run this all by my dad already and he says he'd either drop the course or knuckle down and study hard. Well we had our first test yesterday which I studied hard for and memorized all the formulas. I don't think I did well (I'm naturally pessimistic).

So I think I'll wait and see how I did on the test before deciding if I should stick with it or just jump ship. The class will only get harder :\

Anywho, onto something more enjoyable... :P

James and I have both said we really enjoyed Saturday night and we can't wait to see each other again. We were planning on meeting today for lunch and shopping (I desperately need new clothes). Yesterday, however, his mom told him he needed to take his grandfather to a doctors appointment today. So he asked me if Friday would be a better day. Of course it would be a much better day since neither of us has to worry about class the next day. So I asked what, if anything, he wanted to do other than meet for lunch, which is all we were planing to do. He said he'd have to think about it.

We'll we've thought about it and decided that we're going to meet at the large shopping center like we originally planned except we'll meet a little later on in the day. We'll do stuff there for a bit, then he's going to follow me to my mom's house. We're going to order pizza and watch movies all night. And yes, he'll be spending the night as well.

I asked him who is going to sleep on the couch. His response, "lol well I can if you really want :) Or we could cuddle and fall asleep, that's ok too... Whatever you're comfortable with, I'm comfortable with :)"

Hehe so we'll see :P

Now before you guys get any dirty thoughts, please remember that both James and I have already said we're not really that interested in sex, so I'm sure nothing like that will be happening. As Naturgesetz says, I won't be doing anything he wouldn't do.

Oh and we're still just friends, by the way.

:)

Am I dreaming?

This weekend has seriously been the best weekend in my life!

Friday was the concert in Pittsburgh with John Williams conducting the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra. I can't really describe the whole thing. It was just fanfuckingtastic :D

But yesterday the really awesome stuff happened :D

Yesterday was Community Day here so there was the usual parade and fireworks. I texted James (Jimmy, see last post) to see if he wanted to come over to see the fireworks. Well of course he did :D

So I met him after he got off the interstate and he followed me into town. We had over an hour to kill so we just walked around. I thought it was sooo awkward because there would be long (to me) periods of silence, and I didn't know what to say. I kept thinking he's wasting his time here :S

When it came time for the fireworks to start we sat in the back of his truck. His rear door (hatch) swings out like a normal door instead of folding down like a pickup truck would. I sat closest to the open door which blocked the view of most of the fireworks. He offered to switch places but I said no since then he wouldn't be able to see then.

Solution: I told him to slide forward and I'd squeezed in partially behind him. After the fireworks started he leaned back so he was kinda leaning on me. He asked if he was squishing me but of course I said no, so he leaned back even further/harder. I didn't know if I should put my arm around him or not so I didn't (tons of other people around).

After the fireworks were over we stayed like that for several minutes. I told him it'd be best to wait until everyone else had gone to try and leave since it'd be virtually impossible to get out of the area the same time everyone else is. So we stayed up there for a good half hour or more in the back of his truck watching videos on his iPhone. He kept getting closer and closer to me until he was leaning against me again. I told him we better move before the police officer came through.

We went back to Dad's and sat outside on the porch swing for what seemed like forever. The awkward silence was back. Our legs kept rubbing against each other as we were swinging and he'd press it against mine, and he was leaning against me again because it was cold. I laughed and said that I feel like I should be making a move on him. To my surprise he chuckled and said, "you're funny," then he put his head on my shoulder!

:O

I felt sooo awkward not knowing what to do!

Eventually we got to where we were in each others arms and holding hands (fingers laced). I noticed an orange glow behind the trees so I took his hand and led him out to the edge of the hill that over looks the river, bridge, and valley. There was the moon glowing orange behind the fog. It looked so pretty. We continued to hold each other in the moonlight.

By this point it was nearing 3 a.m. and he still had an hour drive home ahead of him so I asked if he wanted to get going. He said he didn't want to go and he wished we lived closer. I told him I didn't want to let him go. Nevertheless we walked back up to his truck (still holding hands).

We hugged (the tightest one) once more and he started walking around to the driver's side of his truck. He turned around and said, "For the record, you have really pretty eyes." I thanked him and he left.

This is all totally surreal. I seriously cannot believe it actually happened.

If we can, we're going to meet again on Tuesday (which was originally going to be our first meeting). It'll be totally out in public so no cuddling :P And we can't stay together into the night cos I have class the next morning. But I told him maybe we could get together next weekend as well.

So we'll see...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This was the opening piece to the concert. I never heard it before then but it's pretty good.

The Cowboys Overture - John Williams

Meeting Someone :O / Symphony

I met a guy online last week named Jimmy. As it turns out, we have the same personalities. We're both on the anti-social and introverted side and are both huge James Bond fans :P

We've decided to meet up, possibly next week. Before you get all excited, we both have different ideas of the "perfect guy" so we probably won't end up as boyfriends :P

I posted months ago that Mom and I were going to the symphony for a John Williams concert. The original concert ended up being cancelled because Williams suffered a back injury I believe. It was rescheduled and we ended up getting better seats. Previously we were in row Z but now we're in row K. Anyway, the concert is Friday.

I have no idea what to wear :O

Homophobia At Home

The Physics class I'm taking this summer started yesterday. I stayed at Mom's last night and will go back to Dad's tomorrow.

Mom is in charge of the yearbook for my old high school. Today she was working on the senior's section which includes "senior memories." They are a paragraph or so the senior write about their best memories.

A gay boy wrote about him and his boyfriend. Mom took that part out "because it's weird." I said she should put it back in. She said she might if there was room. She also said that he'd "be sorry for that someday."

I don't know what that mean't.

Sorry for the crappy post. I'm dead tired. Goodnight

Well according to the GYC, Chris has a boyfriend now. I guess that's why he pretended to be someone else when I texted him. He's also removed me and some others from his "connection" on the GYC. It doesn't really make any sense why he would do that though...

Whatever.

Class starts Wednesday

What the fuck?

Remember Chris, the guy from the GYC?

We haven't talked in a few weeks so I texted him yesterday to try and rekindle the friendship which started off so well. Here's what happened:

Me: Hi

Chris: Who's thiss??

Me: Peter lol

Chris: Idk any peters. wrong number

Me: Well this is the number I used to text you on sooo....

????: Text who on?

Me: You, Chris...

????: Um noo this is Even dude you got the wrong number!!

Me: Ok....

So... Yeah... Idk...

One thing to note is that the guy said his name is "Even" not Evan. I don't know about you, but I've never heard of anyone named Even. Maybe it's just a simple spelling error.

Anyway so I really don't know what to think. I checked the GYC and Chris hasn't logged on there in a week. He used to be on every day. I sent a message on there to another one of Chris's friends to see if they knew anything and if they have his number just in case it somehow got screwed up in my phone (which is unlikely). I don't know why he would lie and say it's someone else though...

Well, if that other guy gives me Chris's number and it's the same as the one in my phone then I guess I'll know he was lying yesterday.

*sigh*

Anyway, I'm off to the dentist.

Dream Last Night

Every once in a while I'll have a nice dream that makes me feel good when I wake up. Last night I dreamt that I had a boyfriend. Filling that role was a cute guy I was friends with way back in elementary school. I haven't seen (in person) or spoken to him since then and that was over 6 years ago, so it's interesting that he'd be the one in my dream. We are friends on facebook but that's as far as it goes.

Anywho, in the dream we were in Disney World (of all places). We were watching a beautiful sunset and then fireworks. It sounds dull but it was nice :P

I had a similar dream several weeks ago. In it I had a boyfriend (can't remember who it was, if anyone specific) and we were on a ship. We were in bed in our cabin just holding/cuddling each other. No sex stuff, just cuddling.

Nice dreams, but now I need to make it actually happen ;)

I am trying...

R.M.S. Queen Mary at Sunset