Pressure in My Head

Last week I started sneezing more than usual. That didn't really set off any alarms at the time. Then towards the end of the week, or the beginning of this week, I noticed that my left eye looked like I had gotten soap in it. By that I mean the eye ball was slightly red and more veins were showing than normal.

Then it started to hurt everytime I looked at light and also when I moved it in a certain direction. The best thing to do then is to get off the computer and away from the TV so the eye can "rest" right? Well, I didn't lol. I have an eyepatch that is used when you look through a telescope but you can't close your other eye. Anyway, I thought that would give my eye a "rest", and Dad agreed that it would be best to keep light away from it, while I continued to go about my usual routine.

Then the eye started to water more than usual. So Dad started looking for eye drops in the house, but we don't have any.

Then early this morning, it got to the worst point...

I woke up around 4 a.m. There was this intense pain at the top left of my left eye, like were the eyebrow ends. Everytime I opened either of my eyes and looked at something with light this spot started to hurt. Also, my nose was very stuffy. At this point it was obvious that it was a sinus problem.

My eyes were watering constantly at this point. Daylight was starting to pour into the room, so this made it difficult to open my eyes. Initially, I laid face down on my bed but this only worsened the pain/pressure in my head. So then I tried laying on my back, but this meant I couldn't open my eyes because of the light coming through the windows.

Finally Dad got up around 6. I told him to come into my room and close the blinds on the windows so I could at least open my eyes. By then it was like I was crying. My eyes wouldn't stop watering, my nose was stuffy and running... gah it felt horrible.

Finally around 6:30 I got up and went into the bathroom. Luckily I found some sinus reliever in the cabinet. I read the box to see what they are used for:

Sinus Headache
Sinus Pain & Pressure
Nasal Congestion
Sneezing
Itchy, Watery Eyes
Runny Nose

I had all of those except for the sneezing.

So I took two of the horse pills, and flopped back down on my bed. I woke up around 10. My nose was completely clear, my eyes were fine, no pain or pressure in my head. The pills had done their job.

My left eye is still a bit red. I just took two more pills because the "itchy, watery eyes" symptom was back. So we'll see what happens next.


Here are some pics I took today of my new room:


Hmm... It looks smaller on here, but it's bigger than my previous room. The pile on the lower left corner is pictures that have to be hung up.

I still haven't gotten stuff where it's supposed to be yet.


My bed. The eyepatch can be seen on the night stand.



Pile of Kleenexes on the floor :p

I want to paint the night stand a brownish color to match the other wood in the room. It's green cos it matched Dad's room when he was a kid.




My new desk set up. Most of the things on the desk haven't found a home yet. I'm still working on putting everything where it should be.



Casper. Lucky is the multi-colored cat in the other pics. =^_^=


Well, I think I'll get off the computer for awhile. I'm gonna go read some more of Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets.


P.S.

HAPPY B-DAY MIKEY!

P.S.S. I got a MINI Cooper!

Great Time

Well, let's continue from the last post.

Alex got back from the bike trail, and helped his dad with the firewood stuff or whatever.

Then at 8:15 he sent me a txt saying that they were going out the get ice cream.

Between the time he left and the time he got back, Alex2 just randomly comes over and checks out the tent. I wasn't in it, but Dad was sitting on the porch and saw him there. So I was forced to sit and make small talk with him until Alex came back from the ice cream place. Alex2 again brought up the fact(?) that Alex and Joe are "way too close."

An hour and 15 minutes later (9:30), Alex finally got back home. It took us 15 more minutes just to get rid of Alex2.

After Alex2 left, Alex said, "Okay, let's go to the tent."

"Um, wait. What about the movie?"

"I don't really feel like watching it now."

Okay, he didn't want to watch the movie. No biggy. That just meant that we had more time in the tent :p

Once in the tent, the sexual stuff started happening almost instantly. I don't mean physical sexual stuff. Just the verbal stuff (ie him taking everything I say and spinning it into a sexual reference). We chatted for awhile until around midnight. I can't remember most of what was said or what we talked about. Throughout this time, he kept making small moves to instigate us masturbating together.

For example, he kept reminding me of things we used to say and do last year. Stuff which I can't say here because Matt just told me not to.

And, of course, he kept "readjusting" and "scratching" himself. As usual I asked if he wanted help. Most of the time he responded, "I'm good thanks."

Then at ~11:30 he asked, "So, is it almost time for your masturbation session yet?"

Well, that was the kickoff that started us wanking together. He wouldn't let me touch him, so no handjobs lol.

Okay, well, I'm not really sure if I should put in all the details or not. I've already done it when I described camping last year. So I guess I will now too. Plus it's fun to relive it :p

Anyway, to start off, I don't like to just pull it out in front of everyone when it's not hard lol. So I was underneath a heating blanket. So I'm tyring to get hard under the blanket when Alex asks, "I thought you didn't like doing it under a blanket?"

"No, I don't."

"Well here then, let me help you." Then he grabs the corner of the blanket and yanks if off me (just like he did last year).

Then a few minutes later he says, "It's really hot in here. I'm gonna take my pants and boxers off."

:O

OMG!

I could have cum right there!!!

We ended up having a race to see who could cum first. I won :p I'm pretty sure he let me win tho.

He kept asking me if I was close to finishing yet. When I'd say "no" he'd say, "Come on Peter, beat that meat!" and he'd repeat the "beat that meat" part a couple times. Things like that are the last thing that I'd expect to come from his mouth lol.

Anyway, like I said, I won :p Not by much though. He said (as it was dark I couldn't see) that he shot pretty far; all the way up to the top of his chest almost on his neck where he had his shirt pushed up to.

Okay, I've got to say it. I think Alex has the cutest dick I've ever seen lol.

So, after we did that we were both getting tired. It was already past midnight.

He fell asleep pretty quickly actually lol. But the neighbor's dog wouldn't shut up, so I didn't get to sleep so easily. Actually, while I'm waiting to fall asleep, I just lay there and watch Alex sleeping. Creepy?

At about ~2:30, Matt sent me a text asking what happened. I forgot to put my cell phone of vibrate, so it made the beeping sound that I have it set to make when I get a new text message. Surprisingly, this woke Alex up (he's a pretty heavy sleeper). He got up and said, "I have to pee. Should I walk to the edge of the hill and go?"

lol

Thinking that would be a bit dangerous for a person half asleep, I told him to just go on the other side of the boat. Then that made me have to go too lol. I guess we could have been more civilized and went inside, but it was 2:30 am and we were both half asleep.

Then when we got back in the tent, Alex said that he was cold now. I had been using the heating blanket the whole time. So I threw as much over his sleeping bag as I could without leaving me exposed lol. It wasn't working too well, so one of us had to move closer to the other so we could both get enough. I was the one to move because he was asleep already lol.

For the next 5 hours we slept less than a foot away from each other. I was sooo tempted to just throw my arms around him and cuddle with him, but I resisted the urge :p

I woke up at 6ish when the birds started singing. I couldn't do anything but lay there waiting for him to wake up. Finally he did at 9.

He asked if I was gonna masturbate again since he knows I usually do it before bed and after I wake up. I said that I could, and asked if he was again. He said he wasn't going to go the whole way, but that he would give me some visual aide :D

So, I used up two more tissues this morning. Between the two of us, I used 5 while he used 3. That's 8 less tissues I have to worry about now :p

I did ask him last night when he wants to camp out again. He just shrugged. And when he left he just said "See ya later."

So no more plans have been made to do anything as of yet.

So, what do you guys think?

Sometimes I just wanna cry...

I'm one of those people who can't cry. Even if I try to cry I still can't. Weird huh?

When I can't cry, but want to, it makes for a weird sensation in my head. Usually I just sit with one of my hands on my forehead and have my eyes closed. Or I just bury my head in my folded arms.

Anyway, today has been one of those days. I did something unspeakable...

... I was thinking!

I know I shouldn't do it. I always regret thinking about the past, and Alex. And when you put the two together...

Well, it's not fun.

When I think about the stupid things I've done (with regard to Alex), I feel sooooo dumb. And in hindsight, I know I caused all of the problems that have torn our friendship apart.

It's really hard to explain without going into detail about each and every thing I'm thinking about.

Now, when you mix thinking and jealousy together!

That's when I feel the worst.

Like today, Alex was playing hockey with The Annoying Friend...

Oh ffs! I'm just gonna start using his name. Joe. So everytime you see Joe, he's The Annoying Friend.

Anyway...

I can hear them together out there. I keep thinking things like,

Why doesn't he want me out there instead?
Why can't we just be normal friends again?
Why did I have to do this?
Why did I have to do that?
Why...?
Why...?
Why...?
What if I hadn't done this?
...that?
Does he even know how much pain he's causing me?
Does he know our friendship is on the rocks?
Is he even mature enough to get all of this?

I know I shouldn't think like that. It's not healthy to. But I just can't help it.

Okay, I'm gonna stop all that now cos it really sounds dumb, and it makes me sound crazy.

I really want to just let go of him completely. But at the same time I want things back to normal between us.

I just want to talk to him. But I've tried before, but I just can't bring myself to confront him about it. Dunno why. It would probably solve this whole thing one way or the other.

And before you say it, going back to school is not going to solve a damn thing.

Hmm... What else is swimming through my head?

IDK

There was something there a little bit ago, but now it's gone. Maybe that's a good thing.

Damn! It's getting late. I want to get up and walk tomorrow (2.2 miles is my walking route's distance), but I'm probably not gonna be able to wake up early enough. As it is, I'm never gonna get to sleep with all the thinking that's going on upstairs.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. It makes me sound nuts.

In short:

I know it's time to get over Alex completely. It's been that time for awhile now. But I just can't do it! I try not to let him bother me, but I can't help it.

-_-

I mean, I didn't get any work done today cos I've done practically done nothing but thinking. I even tried to take my mind off it all by playing video games. That didn't do a whole lot of good.

I just need a long vacation away from here. Even just a long weekend would be nice. But it doesn't seem like I'll be getting one of those this summer, or any time soon for that matter...

Ok, I'm gonna shut up now. I'm gonna go crawl in bed, and bury myself under my covers...

BTW, I've posted an update on the whole animal abuse thing. Go read it if you haven't already.

Animal Cruelty Investigator

A truck just pulled into the neighbor's! The sticker on the side says "Animal Cruelty Investigator"

OMG!

I wonder what's gonna happen!

Will update later.


::Later::

They've left. Gave the lady next door some papers, and a business card. The officer said, "I'll talk to ya later." So I guess that means they'll be back?

Another Dream AND Some Other Things

Last night around 10ish, I decided to go for a run with the dogs.

*Gasp*

Me? Exercising?

Lol

I took Skylar first. We ran from the boat to the road and back 5 times (Dad says thats about 100 feet each way). Then I got chubbs and ran the same thing. It didn't last long, but it really helped clear my head of all the things I was thinking about yesterday.

Afterwords, I got the idea to wake up at 5am this morning and walk up to the church and back (the long ways of course). Dad says the way I planned to go would be about a mile or more.

I set my phone to go off at 4:45.

Once 4:45 came around and the alarm went off, I was ready to get up and go. Then I noticed it was a little dark outside still. So I made the mistake of hitting the snooze button. Five minutes later, the phone went off again. Again, I hit the snooze button. Every five minutes up until 5am, I hit the snooze button. Once at 5, I was too tired to get up. So I reset the alarm to go off at 8am.

Somewhere between 5 and 8, I had this interesting dream. I don't remember how it started, so I'll just skip to the good parts :D

Somehow, Alex and I were in my room behind a closed door...

...OMG, this sounds so weird now...

Anyway, he was dressed only in underwear lol. Eventually, we both started rubbing each other and kissing.

Then we get interrupted...

...by the evil queen from Snow White ffs!

I guess she took Dad's place. She was making pizza, but she kept calling it lasagna (oddly enough, it looked like the same pizza Mom brought last week. Also I ate lasagna the other day).

Anywho, Alex and I hid under the covers on my bed. There we gave each other handjobs. We ended up cumming at the same time lol.

After we got done, we both locked ourselves in the bathroom and cleaned up. Then before he left, I asked

"Did you do all this because you like me? Or because you're just horny?"

He answered, "Just because I was horny." Then he left. That's when I woke up.

Gah!

Can't he even like me in my dreams ffs!!!!????!!!!


Okay, enough about that.

Today in church, I stuck my hand down my pants.

^_^

I didn't do anything while it was down there. My hands were just cold lol.

Oh!

I forgot to tell you.

Yesterday, I sent a text message to all my old friends whos' numbers I have. It said, "Thought you'd like to know that I'm seriously considering coming back to [enter city name here] for my senior year."

Some time after, I was just looking at my sent messages. I realized that I had accidently sent that text to Alex too!

:\

I actually wasn't going to tell him cos I don't really know what to say to him if he askes.

He didn't say anything about it in church today so...

Well, I think that is all I have to report for now.


Btw

Someone asked in the comments, so I guess I should also report that nothing has been done about the neighbor's animals yet.

Heard Back From the PSPCA

They said they would give my complaint to the Western Humane Society (wherever that is). They also named the officer it would be given to. Something they didn't do before.

So I guess this means progress.

Heartbreaking

I sent the following email to the PSPCA (Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) 6 months ago:

Dear PSPCA,

I am writing to you today to report a case of animal cruelty.

My neighbors have a number of cats and dogs. They leave two of their dogs tied up outside. The first dog, a German Shepard, is tied up to a tree with only an overturned couch as a shelter. The other dog, not sure of its breed but it looks like a Rottweiler, is tied up to a van with only the van as shelter. It has been very cold and snowy the past few weeks, and our neighbors have not showed any signs of moving the animals indoors.

They have a bunch of other dogs, at least 6, who they TRY to keep inside. Frequently they let these dogs outside. When these dogs are outside they are not tied up, which is illegal in our town. They have barked at and chased people as they were walking by. They have scratched the legs of the person who lives across the street (Alex's mom). This person has made a few complaints to the --------- County dog catcher (or someone like that) and to our town police. However they have never done anything about it.

The neighbors also have a number of cats. I'm not sure how many, but at least 3-5. They rarely let the cats inside. These cats wander all over town.

Something needs to be done soon!!

Please let me know if you can do anything about this.

Thank you,

Peter --------

They sent a reply a few days later that said something like they would be sending an officer to investigate, or something like that. Well, guess what. Nothing has been done as of yet... 6 months later.

So an incident happened about an hour ago that made me email them again:

I wrote to you 6 months ago to report about animal abuse in ------, PA. I have included the original email below this one (above for you).

I was told in a reply email that an officer would be sent to investigate, or something similar to that. Nothing has been done about it so far (to my knowledge anyway). So I'm writing to you again to make some further complaints.

A few weeks ago it rained. Apparently the dog tied to the van didn't have any water. I saw her licking the side of the van as it was raining. It's not really that that bothers me. It's the fact that she has to live in such a horrible condition. I will send pictures if you need them. The area around the van is nothing but dirt, or mud when it rains. The van itself has sunk almost to the bottom of the hubcaps. There is garbage all over the place; especially rusted tin cans (like soup cans). The other dog (German Shepard) still only has an overturned couch as a shelter.

That paragraph makes it sound like I live in the ghetto or something lol. It's only the people next door who live like that around here.

I'd also like to say that since I emailed you some time ago, their dog population has gone up to around 10 or 12.

Also the literal physical abuse hasn't stopped. I don't think I mentioned it in my last email. There is one dog, Penny, who appears to get the worst of it. She is a very cute dog, and it breaks my heart to see her literally beaten. Once she came over to our house (and ate our other dogs food). I was giving her some loving attention (i.e. petting) Let me tell you, it feels like she has scabs all over her.

On one occasion (maybe last fall), she was loose and went into the garage of the people across the street. They scared her out and she ran back over to her house. Well, the boy (around 17 years old) came out. He literally grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the wall repeatedly while yelling at her.

The most recent physical abuse I witnessed was just a few minutes ago. It broke my heart so much that I just had to write to you again.

They got 4 or 5 kittens (just little things). They keep them in a cat/dog carrier all the time. They don't even let them out to go to the bathroom. In fact, one of the people that lives there was cleaning out the carrier when this happened. The boy I mentioned above was also out. I guess they were done cleaning the carrier. He went around and picked up each one of the kittens by the neck and literally threw them into the cage. He is the most abusive one there. It's really sickening.

Almost everyday there is something that happens to those poor dogs and cats that just rips my heart out. I really wish someone would do something about it all. I'm only 17 so there isn't much I can do except write to you hoping you will come and rescue these poor animals. It really is a shame that much complaining has been done by people who live around here, and nothing has been done.

I mean, it's really sad to say that I recently hoped that the dog tied to the van would die of thirst just so she wouldn't have to live in garbage and mud, and so she would stop suffering.

If you need anything like pictures or anything else, please ask.

I really wish you could/would do something about it,

Peter --------


It's really horrible.

Of course, I failed to mention I kill an average of 10 kittens a week from masturbating.

;)