Hey ya'll! (I don't actually use that word.... ever.)
Last week I had an appointment to get my hair cut (exciting!). I've been going to this stylist/hairdresser/whatever you want to call it for about two years now, I think. Anyway, it's a guy who runs the place and does my hair. Now, as you may well know, a male hairstylist is gay 9 times out of 10 (that's a proven fact). We usually just BS while he's doing my hair, but this time we were talking about my trip to D.C. for the Inauguration (see last post). We got onto the topic of President Obama's speech and how gay rights was a subject he covered (if you haven't heard the speech yet, then you should definitely see the last post). Anywho, it's been a week since this happened and I have since forgotten how exactly came about, but Josh (the guy who cuts my hair) told me that he is president of the local PFLAG group. Now, this was the first time we've ever discussed anything gay, but of course it was kinda obvious that he himself is gay. So, he told me that and I told him that I go to the LGBT club at school. From there we talked gay stuff for nearly an HOUR (for perspective, it usually takes 15 minutes to do my hair, then I'm gone).
In the course of the conversation, he urged me to attend his PFLAG meetings and to stop by his LGBT-oriented lounge he runs in the same building as the hair studio. I'm not sure if I'll do either of those, at least not right away. I signed up for the monthly PFLAG email newsletter his group puts out, so I'll take a look at that and go from there. He did tell me the February meeting was going to be mostly about electing new officers, so I most likely won't be going to that one at least.
Towards the end, he told me something he tells everyone who has or is contemplating coming out:
How long was it between the time you knew you are gay to the time you came out (the answer is likely a good many years). If it took you that long to be comfortable enough with your sexuality to come out, it is unreasonable to expect your friends/parents/family to be comfortable with it overnight.
Eh, I think the point may have gotten lost in my rewording of what he said, but I hope not.
4 comments:
Well I think it's basically a good point. It probably shouldn't take them as long to get comfortable with it — we're talking two different kinds of being comfortable: telling people who may be upset, and accepting the truth about a loved one.
Unless your parents have a fairly liberal attitude toward politics and sexuality, it might be best to wait until you are finished school and are settled in a job before fully coming out. Having your own income and independence (with a partner too) means you don't have to take crap from anyone. IMO you have the right idea to have some support in the LGBT community; it can be very tough trying to co-exist in the straight world. - Wayne :)
That really is a good salient point and for someone of my age, who came out to the world many years a good, good to be reminded of now and again.
Wishing you well as always.
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