I wasn’t sure if I should write about this in here or not, but I want to write about it now (and I need something to fill the space!). To come out and say it, I’m gay. I’ve known for a long time, but I only started accepting it when I was 14 or 15. Nobody knows except one person, Alex, who used to be my best friend. I’m afraid to tell my parents because I don’t know how they’ll react. Dad will probably have a negative reaction since he is a minister. Mom may have a better reaction because I remember her saying once that she doesn’t think “those people” have a choice.
We do not have a choice. I get sick and tired of people, who are usually straight, saying that gay people have a choice in the matter. Well, I never chose to be gay. In fact, who would chose to be gay and have the possibility of your friends and family hating you because of it? I certainly wouldn’t.
It seems that society is becoming more accepting of gays today than it was only a handful of years ago. That is another reason why I am a Democrat. Democrats are a lot more likely to fight for gay rights than Republicans are. Republicans seem to be the Conservative Christians who think we should use the Bible as a law book. I don’t think it’s good for society that we do that.
Since my Dad is a minister and a Republican, I walk this virtual tightrope between being gay and Christian. I go to church every Sunday. Not because I want to, but because it is expected since I live with Dad. I do like going because I get to see a lot of people I wouldn’t see otherwise. However, I don’t know whether I believe or not. It’s difficult to when the Bible basically says that God hates gays while still claiming He loves everyone. I’m in a difficult position.
I started blogging a few years ago when I was in a situation with my best friend and I couldn’t get help from my friends or family since that would mean they would find out that I am gay. Writing down details of the situation here would be tantamount to too much information overload.
Anyway, I have met so many great people from blogging. Since they live all over the world, I also have learned about their culture and society, too. My best online friends literally live all around the world. They live in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, Switzerland, Australia, and the Philippines.
13 comments:
This is a well written post :-)
peter
it had to hard to write this and then give it to a perfect stranger.
I hope you do well on the project. I disagree though with you about democrats because if they really believed in equal rights they would have changed so many things
In fact Obama like many christian democrats who belong to black churches dispaapprove of us as much as any christian conservative does who is replublican. polls showed that more than 70 percent of black christians voted against Prop 8
Obama could change DADT and DOMA all on his own with one presidential order but the fact is not enough democrats really support changing either and regardless of his words or other democrats, they take no action to help us for fear of losing their seats in congress or being reelecetd president
How can someone like Obama, Reid, Pelosi or other democrats like Ed Rendal your governer claim to support equal rights but then they vote against things like gay marriage and for DOMA
Sure you are young and the demopcrats seem like they say the right things but they had all the control and they did nothing to help us and now they are going to be thrown out of office for not prodcuing jobs in this country
Now before you get all upset with me im not claiming republicans are any better in fact they are worse in supporting us for the most part but it was the log cabin replubuicans who brought the DADT suit which recently won and it is Ted Olson former Bush official with Mr. Boise leading the fight that won PROP 8 for us and what might be the most unusal is that former Vice President Cheeney gives us more support (because his daughter is out maybe only i dont know) than Obama and Biden do.
I just think neither party supports us really, not more than lip service but no results. Things are changing though and i hope for a better future (one with jobs for college students who graduate too). The ponly changes we are wining are those granted by the Courts not the politicians of either party.
for any of you who disagree with me u can find my email on my blog btw
have a nice day take care and be safe
bob
Journaling seems to be a useful exercise. My spiritual director has been encouraging me to journal. Perhaps I should take a few minutes each day and do it.
I don't know how your Dad feels about it, but I think we shouldn't take it literally if the Bible says God hates someone or some group, because I think the passages that say he is love and loves the world enough to send his Son to enable anyone who believes in him to have eternal life are clear enough and the basic truth in the light of which we understand the rest.
I also don't recall anywhere where it says that God hates gays anyway. Fred Phelps says so, but I think he's misreading the Bible. What I understand it to say is that he regards homosexual activity as sinful. So he "hates" the activity in the same way he "hates" any other sinful conduct. But he does not hate the people who engage in it. He loves them and calls them to himself, just as he called Israel back whenever they sinned — and never stopped loving them. (See Hosea, for example.) I understand there are others who believe that a proper reading of the Bible does not even condemn homosexual activity for people with a homosexual orientation, only perhaps for those who are straight — but IMO they are misreading the Bible in the opposite direction from Fred Phelps.
Anyway, it's a good post, and an honest journal entry. I hope you get a good grade on it.
Hey Petah. Miss you.
Nice writing.
But what if she reads them aloud?
Be careful since everyone in class knows you IRL.
I confess that I am a bit confused here; are you writing this as a way of coming out? This is a journal for English class and is public isn't it? Is it already passed in?
-Well, me and all the other gay people who read your blog completely understand your difficult situation and it sucks. I think I told you before that if your family is very religious and/or conservative with blatant homophobia, it may be best to wait until your education is completed and you are financially independent. I am not too sure if coming out now will be good for you if it gets back to your family. You need to find some gay friends (offline) for support and friendship so you don't have to carry this load all by yourself.
-I certainly know that God doesn't hate gays, but I do know that the men who wrote down the words of the Bible did it from their own tribal and parochial point of view. Litteral interpretation of any religion is insane. Religious persecution of homosexuals in this day and age is becoming frankly embarassing.
-Anyway if a person is gay, my advice is to always vote for the most gay-friendly party; there is power in numbers. If 10% of the population is gay or gay-inclined then that can easily swing an election if they stick together. bfn - Wayne :) (big hugs!)
Peter, is this supposed to be handed in in class? To your teacher? If YES, I strongly recommend you NOT to do so, although it's an excellent paper(form could be better)!!! At least, your dad will hear about it through your teacher or anyone else. This shouldn't happen before you spoke to him, whenever you decide to do so. So, hold your paper back in secret, write another one (about Titanic or whatever). I mean, is this the way you want to come out publicly?? DON'T!! Better to speak to one friend, to you dad or anybody else you feel comfortable with before.
HUGS!!
Oliver
There's nothing wrong with this, Peter. I think the time has come.
@ recent commenters — I'd be shocked if a college teacher shared a student's paper with his father. There might be some slight danger that the teacher could read it aloud if it seems like one of the best. So it might make sense to ask him/her to keep it confidential.
this is really good! let us know of any notes she writes back :)
Peter, your teacher should keep it confidental, right. But what if she doesn't? What if she makes an unreflected statement in the teachers room? If she speaks about to her friendly collegue? "You know, Peter is secretly gay and..." You should really wait until you're not living with your dad any more to come out publicly. He's a minister and your coming out may have adverse effects on his job. Sad to say, but this is reality.
HUGS
Oliver
Hello Peter,
I am making my first comment on your blog. Your assignment is fine, but handing it in for real is simply a big risk for you, one that you may not want to take. The consequences may be something you will have difficulty dealing with. Be cautious. You don't know who you can trust with sensitive information until you get to know them quite well. Please for your own sake, be more careful. It is still a hateful workd out there.
--carlitos
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