Soooo....
I was talking to a fellow blogger and he said that it's not really necessary to treat Alex like I do.
(ie. not talking to him unless I have to, and even then showing little interest in what he says (which is usually nothing important anyway), kinda avoiding him, etc.)
He suggested maybe it's time to start building up a friendship with him again. Well, I dunno... I *guess* I would like that, but don't really know if it's a good idea. I feel silly for even asking >.<
Do you think it'd be worth it to try to fix it at this point? I've probably asked this before but I don't remember.
I don't know because: Our past history for one, it'd be awkward talking to him again, and he hasn't made any attempt to restart the friendship so I dunno if he would even be willing or w/e
I dunno... what do you think?
(I feel so weird for asking this for some reason :\ As I write this I'm starting to feel it's not such a good/worthwhile idea.)
8 comments:
Are you a masochist?
@ J:
*Looks up 'masochist' in dictionary*
"One who subjects themselves to pain, usually in a sexual form."
Lol I think I know what you mean by that. Subjecting myself to emotional pain if I try to restart a friendship? That's what I'm probably not gonna do it. I was just curious as to what everyone else thought.
I see nothing wrong with it, but please make sure you set the right expectations on yourself and on him ... as J said ... don't turn this into a masochistic torture fest for yourself (well he didn't say that but I think that's the same idea)
I really think you are asking for more heartache if you are the one who makes an effort to rebuild the friendship. It wasn't just a simple everyday friendship. It was a sexual attraction. You had a major crush on him. And it was very one-sided. There is no reason to expect anything different if you try to restart things.
If he initiates friendly activity, I don't think you have to refuse. You don't need to shun him, IMO. Just let it all come from him, and don't don't get your hopes up for more than is actually there. As I said some time ago, he seems to regard the relationship as a friendly acquaintance, not as a close friendship. I don't think it's likely he'll want more than that.
What I'm very much afraid of is that he'll start behaving as a friendly acquaintance toward you, and you'll begin to hope for more, and you'll start to obsess over him, and you'll end up as miserable as you were a year ago.
For your own peace of mind, I hope you can hold off on initiating contact and he'll leave you alone.
This post has me really worried.
*hugs*
My thoughts are the same as Johns.Short and sweet - let sleeping dogs lie - unless Alex wants to wake them up. At your young age you have a heap of wonderful experiences ahead of you.
Kindest regards Stef.
Sorry I wrote a novel petey, but please read it and take it into thought...
I feel different then most people on here, so if you don't even read this comment, or if you don't agree then fine, but this is how i feel about the whole you and alex thing.
I think its important to have friends, especially in high school. My friends from high school are still some of my closest friends even if I only see them ever summer and holiday and even less than that now.
I understand that you don't want to like him as more than a friend and get hurt again and I think thats why you have the gut feeling that it's not a good idea. I also think you have that feeling because deep down you still have feelings for him.
Now I know you can't control who you like, but it's really not fair to Alex. If he isn't gay, he isn't gay, theres nothing you can really change there. I mean sure he did somethings with you but I think he did it because you guys are horny teenagers and nothing else. Its like if a really close friend of yours who was a girl all the sudden just kept trying to make you straight so she could be with you. Wouldn't that make you feel awkward and really not want to be around the person.
Thats why I try in life to not become really close in a relationship/sexual way unless I know the guy is gay/bi. Sure I'll check guys out but I never take it past that point.
Ultimately the decision is only yours. Its easy for us to sit back and comment and say whether you should or shouldn't do it, but we aren't you. We may have similar, but we don't have the exact same needs as you.
Like I said I think you should become friends with Alex because you were pretty good friends before you started any of the sexual stuff right? It may be awkward at first but if you just remind yourself that you want nothing more than to be good friends with him, then i think you can do it.
And I'm sorry in the past for saying you should do stuff with Alex, I have never really thought about it as much as I did now and it wasn't fair for you or him.
I really do hope you try to work things out with Alex because even if he isn't gay and doesn't want to do stuff with you, he did seem like a nice guy from what you've posted (I mean before you started posting bad things about him.
Peter,
Just let this go. Be friendly but don't go out of your way. Friendships do come go. Just let it go.
R
Well it's up to you to act on what you really want,
but you could always 'approach' him with some enthusiasm and see how much he responds with. If it's not more, then probably best to stop, for now.
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