Not sure why I find these so funny, but I thought I'd post them anyway.
Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior (purple headed!?!?!)
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer (I haven't noticed any lumps in the 10 years that I've been checking)
Choking Kojak
Choking the gecko
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
bash the bishop
choke the chicken
hang the yetti
yank the plank
clean the pipes
grapple the gorilla
pet the one eyed snake
stroke the salami
massage colin
toss off
shake hands with the milkman
plain old wank
greet the old chap
tommy tank
josseling
flogging the dolphin
playing tug of war
pumping your fist
having a "german tank"
having a "down town jeremy brown"
having a "five knuckle shuffle"
having "one on the house"
polishing the pipe
jerkin' the gerkin
massaging the lower horn
releasing the pearl jam
whackin' the mole
jackin' the beanstalk
erecting the monument
lubing the tube
beating around the bush
wank in the tank
Wow! I had no idea there were so many terms for my favorite activity! I personally usually just say jacking/jerking off, masturbating, or wanking. Wanking however is a term I don't really like. It just seems so...foreign. Oh wait, it isn't an American term is it?
Okay, that was a side of me that doesn't show itself on here too often. Maybe I should keep it that way?
BTW, I've posted twice already today so if you haven't read the other two yet, GO!
6 comments:
Perhaps the plethora of euphemisms corresponds to the embarrassment people feel — as they should — in confessing the activity.
Haha
No offense, but the embarrassment should be felt by those who confess that they DON'T do/HAVEN'T done this activity.
After all, it is normal. And as the saying goes:
95% of guys admit they masturbate. The other 5% are lying.
No offense, but that saying is just a defense mechanism by those who do it to allow them to maintain the illusion that what they do is inevitable, and therefore something that they are not responsible for.
Of course it's normal, and certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sorry naturgesetz, but are you saying you've never masturbated?
Anyway, I thought a lot of them were funny. But, a lot of them were cringe-worthy too. If I was going to be embarrassed about anything; it would be about actually saying some of those things (and not the activity, as Peter put it).Lol!
Actually, I think it's nice to see this side of you. You should post about anything you want, people don't have to read it... it's their choice!
Btw, wtf is the "massage colin" one all about? Did you make that one up? LOl!!!
Take care Peter,
Col
Yes.
You forgot "Polishing the Bishop's Helmet." I feel bad for naturgesetz. I believe he doesn't know what he's missing.
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