Saturday, May 9, 2009

"My Penis Fell Off" - Funnies from The Sopranos

"I had this dream last night. My belly button was a Phillips head screw. And as I'm walking around, I'm screwing it. Once I unscrew it the whole way, my penis falls off. I pick it up in my hand and start running around looking for the guy who used to work on my Lincoln when I drove Lincolns. As I'm running, a bird swoops down and grabs my penis outta my hand and flies off."

-Tony Soprano


"Log off, that 'cookies' shit makes me nervous!"

-Tony Soprano

Tony Soprano: Maybe I should tap into my roots, too. My grandmother was half Indian.
Christopher Moltisanti: Get the fuck out of here.
Tony: No, it's true. She was in the Fakawee tribe.
Chris: Oh, yeah?
Tony: Yeah. When they used to get lost in the woods, they stopped and said "Where the Fakawee?"


Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri: Hey, Sil. You remember your first blowjob?
Silvio Dante: Oh, yeah.
Paulie: How long did it take for the guy to cum?

Christopher Moltisanti: Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered. There was no one there.


Janice Soprano: [as she's talking with Tony while sucking marrow out of a soup bone] God, I love marrow, just like Ma. Remember Ma with a bone? It sounded like half-price day at a liposuction clinic.












1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOL - I loved that show